Ryan Roberts - Porcelain

     Henlo again. My roommate told me to post my poem here and write some weird explanation about how it fits into a narrative journey, so I decided to listen.

    The poem is called Porcelain, and it's an amalgamation of things that have been told to me or things I've heard told to my sisters and female friends. I think that women, more so than men, are expected to be perfect. We need to always look presentable and have a pleasant attitude, otherwise we're bitchy or rude. I think this realistically represents this imaginary woman realizing that she'll never be enough, even if she were to become "perfect". There's always something wrong, and falling into that trap is what ends up hurting someone so deeply that they may never be the same again.

Anyway, here it is:

Porcelain

“You’re not skinny enough.”

“Your curves are ugly.”

“Are you eating enough? You’re so skinny.”

“You need a little meat on your bones.”

“You’ve really let yourself go.”

“Wow, you’re eating that much?”

“You’ve gained too much weight.”

“Too much fat makes you ugly.”

“Boys don’t like fat girls.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“You should lose weight.”

“You’re too skinny.”

“You look like a skeleton!”

“Boys don’t like girls that are too skinny.”

Not heavy enough

Not skinny enough

Not perfect enough

The perfect porcelain shape.

“Your nose sticks out too much.”

“You should get a nose job.”

“You can’t get plastic surgery!”

“Boys don’t like girls that get plastic surgery.”

“Your eyes are so narrow! How do you see?!”

“Your eyes are too big. They look like doll eyes.”

“I hate your eye color. It doesn’t match your face.”

“You should get colored contacts.”

“You look weird with that color.”

“Go back to your real eye color.”

“You’re so pale. Do you see the sun?”

“Boys don’t like girls that are too pale.”

“Wow! You’re really tan.”

“Wear some black to mute it.”

“Your skin is too dark.”

“Dark skin doesn’t look pretty.”

“Your moles look strange.”

“You have too many scars.”

“Boys don’t like girls with too many marks.”

“You’re ugly.”

Not natural enough

Not plastic enough

Not perfect enough

The perfect porcelain face.

“Why do you cry so much?”

“Your happy face looks ugly.”

“What? Are you scared?!”

“You’re falling for them too fast.”

“Why are you angry at them again?”

“You’re being too emotional.”

“Why are you giving me ‘resting bitch face’?”

“You don’t smile enough.”

“Stop smiling. It looks weird.”

“Do you even have emotions?”

“You don’t care about me.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“This isn’t important, stop caring about it.”

“Why are you angry at me?”

“Stop yelling!”

“What’s wrong with you?!”

I have no emotions,

I am just perfection

The perfect porcelain w̵̧̨̰͉̙̬͑̏̌̐̐̋͘̚o̷̡̧̧̙̟̗͚͉̦̰̬̰͎̳͚͋̎̿̐̄̀̈́̊̃̒́͒͊m̷̢̨̼̯̩̫̘̞͔̈́͒ȃ̵̧̪̗̝̻̽̔̑͘ñ̵̢͍̯̳̐͑̎́̇̚͜͠͝

The perfect porcelain doll

I will never be enough.