Jenna Wynes- The Continental Drift: A Personal Story

 I shiver as I feel the crisp mountain air run down my spine. The orange embers of the fire burn bright, and the crunch of gravel under my feet echoes through my mind. The nervous rambles of my campers trail close behind me as I walk. I clench my fists, willing my body to stop vibrating with excitement and anticipation. I glance back as we walk and put on my best smile as we reach the center of the campfire. Wishing the fear away, I stand tall with hundreds of eyes on me and shout, “What's up my mammals?” 

I’ve never been one for public speaking, and confidence has never been my strong suit. While as a child I had the confidence to dance and sing in high school performances of The Wizard of Oz and Shrek the musical, as I grew older, I found basic public interactions pushed my anxiety to new heights. With my high standards of perfection, school presentations went as well as Fiona’s relationship with Lord Farquad. My first DECA competition as a solo competitor at districts was horrifying. I was a brand new member with zero experience in marketing, and sitting in front of a judge alone was my worst nightmare. I didn’t think this was out of the norm, because I had dealt with this my whole life, but an incident at 4-H camp showed me the true impact that others have on me and pushed me toward self-reflection. As I performed the Continental Drift from the movie Ice Age with my campers, my ears burned, my voice was a million miles away, and all I could see was the bored and judgmental looks coming from the crowd. I stuck it out and we finished our dance, but the campers felt the negative energy too, and were upset. I pushed my anxiety to the side, hiding my shaking hands once again, and said, “Camp is not a time for seriousness. We killed that and you all did so well! Look, we got 200 bear claws!”. Soon enough, two campers asked to use the bathroom, so we headed behind the seats to the secluded restroom building. As I stood outside the door in the dark, everything caught up to me. The performance, the audience, and the truth behind my camper's doubts weighed on me. I couldn’t hear the logic behind my own statement from before, and I couldn’t breathe. I stumbled against the wall as my ribs tightened, a balloon was inflating inside m,e and it was filled with terror. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me, but after a long and exhausting week of camp, I went home and soon asked for therapy.  

As time passed, I learned more about myself and my anxieties. I found many coping mechanisms and consistently applied them to my life. I learned the power of the mind and the effectiveness of a simple mantra and attitude change. In the past, I would worry about every little thing and tell myself to not mess up or face the consequences, but now I have found clarity. While I'm not perfect, I love that about myself, and my good attitude accounts for messing up and helps me move on to fix any problem. 

It's been 3 years since this incident, and I can confidently claim that my anxiety is at an all-time low, I have almost completed my first year of college at Christopher Newport University, and have learned independence and confidence through being true to myself, understanding my limits, and having the courage to do new things and make mistakes. The moral of the story is that no mistake, no embarrassing moment, or miscalculation is ever serious enough to prevent you from wiggling your rump and walking it out like Granny.


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