Emily Tucker- Friendship
As we discussed in class, friendship can be difficult to define. We all have friendships that all seem to be at different levels of intimacy. Whether bound by culture or societal norms, there are few very intimate friendships in today's age. America's emphasis on individualism tells us that we don't need another person, and we can do everything in our own power. While individualism isn't necessarily a bad thing, I believe that humans were created as relational beings, in need of relationships in order to truly thrive.
One thing I noticed as we were discussing intimacy in class, is that stronger and more intimate relationships seem to be created through shared experiences. Professor Redick told us about his intimate relationship he made while in the military and President Kelly seemed to have a similar story. The military produces these strong and intimate friendships because the soldiers are faced with physically and emotionally difficult situations, that some would argue would be impossible to survive alone. When you come out on the other side, you realize that you and that other person share an experience that other people don't understand because they didn't go through it. This creates a level of intimacy between the two of you that wouldn't be possible had you not shared that experience. The more experiences shared, the deeper the connection grows.
This relates to the "I-it" vs. "I-you" relationship we have been discussing throughout the semester. When we view other people and our friendships as a means to gain something for ourselves, we are using that person as an object ("I-it"). There is not intimacy, and I would argue, there isn't even friendship at that point because friendship is built on love and sacrifice. "I-you" relationships are created when we choose to sacrifice ourselves and our ego for the betterment of the "other". When we cleanse ourselves from all preconceptions and enter a relationship with the goal of getting to know the true person, a deeper connection is formed. There must be a "death" to our ego for an intimate friendship to be born.
In class, Dr. Redick read "David's Lamentation" which showed the intimacy of the friendship between David and Jonathon. David and Jonathon faced many hard situations together, especially as Saul tried to kill David. As I mentioned earlier, these shared experiences are what make friendships more intimate because it is in the hard times that people's true motives and selves are shown. Even when his father tries killing David, Jonathon was there alongside him. Their friendship was "passing the love of women". This is because they both sacrificed their own ego for the good of the other. They were united together.
Ultimately friendship can be difficult to define because it isn't based on blood relation (as family is) or sexual intimacy (as romantic relationships are). Instead, it grows from shared experiences and the choice to sacrifice one's own self for another, which can make it stronger than all other relationships. By entering into intimate relationships, we become a part of something greater than ourselves giving a greater purpose.
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