Caitlyn King - Labeling Experience
When my mom was near term with my younger brother, we stayed at a hotel nearby. I don't quite remember what hotel; things get so muddled with age, and I was only four. To be honest, I am not even sure this is an actual memory, but it's hard to think that what happened was never real. I guess it doesn't matter so much as the emotions--of the fear and confusion.
My uncle took us to the hotel pool. It was a relatively small one, I think. Of course, it was huge to me at the time. It had a pool you can swim laps in and a small hot tub off to the side, the type with jets. It's unclear to me if I went into the big pool first--I knew somewhat how to swim at that age, or at least how to float. But I do know--as much as I can know--that eventually I became curious of the hot tub jets.
My brothers were in it, I think, but after I fell in, it all became a blur.
I could hear the jets work as my head went under, their pressures disorientating me as I forgot which way was up. I don't blame my brothers for not helping me, I think that they were scared and got out; they were only eight and ten. My uncle ended up hauling me out, and I was carried out with my head on his shoulder. With blurry vision from water and tears, I saw my brothers just standing there with our stuff, staring at me and our uncle. It was silent in the pool room, empty of anyone but us, and all I could hear was the steps of my uncle and brothers, my coughs, and the buzz of the jets.
My uncle took us to the hotel pool. It was a relatively small one, I think. Of course, it was huge to me at the time. It had a pool you can swim laps in and a small hot tub off to the side, the type with jets. It's unclear to me if I went into the big pool first--I knew somewhat how to swim at that age, or at least how to float. But I do know--as much as I can know--that eventually I became curious of the hot tub jets.
My brothers were in it, I think, but after I fell in, it all became a blur.
I could hear the jets work as my head went under, their pressures disorientating me as I forgot which way was up. I don't blame my brothers for not helping me, I think that they were scared and got out; they were only eight and ten. My uncle ended up hauling me out, and I was carried out with my head on his shoulder. With blurry vision from water and tears, I saw my brothers just standing there with our stuff, staring at me and our uncle. It was silent in the pool room, empty of anyone but us, and all I could hear was the steps of my uncle and brothers, my coughs, and the buzz of the jets.
But that is just my mind labeling experience. I wasn't thinking of words at the moment; I didn't know that the awful feeling in my chest was panic, I didn't recognize that I was crying. All I was conscious of in that moment was what had happened, the pure instinctual understanding.
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